Given my more recent role addition, I am realizing more and more that there are certain things that are said and done which can either help me grow or hinder me from moving forward in life. In most cases, as might be found for other new parents, as well as for those trying to build a small business to further support those we love, the attitude that is carried through the day and when interacting with others can make all the difference in the world.
Now, by attitude, I mean whether coming across to others as a "know-it-all", or coming from a place of greater authority, basically to boost my own ego. As a therapist, I can not tell you how important it is to get an occasional reality check to make sure I'm not coming from these places. Talking down to, lecturing, or treating my clients as if they are children without the ability to learn and come up with material on their own can do them a disservice, and even be grounds for someone wanting to end therapy prematurely. Along the same lines, in my relationships with those I hold closest in my heart, meaning my wife and my family, the same attitude issue can be a source of great strife, potential resentment and conflict. Even further in my bubbles of interaction, in the workplace, I am continuously learning that the attitude taken toward those I am hired to assist and the company I represent is of the utmost importance in getting my work done and doing what is expected of me on a daily basis.
So, where this leads me to is a reminder hanging in front of me every morning in the workplace - "Check Your Attitude of Gratitude". Now, whether I borrowed part of that phrase from some time in the past after watching "The Secret" or somewhere else, it applies. How I carry myself in this world will of course have ripple effects on others around me, good or not so good. It really is up to me to determine what route to go, with each action taken, each choice made, each interaction with someone, whether via phone or face to face.
This also means that when unconsciously coming from a place of being in the role of a victim, and blaming others, it means no responsibility is taken for getting myself in that predicament in the first place, and I then don't have the opportunity to learn about being wrong, or to even ask for help or admit that I might not know something. Ah the wonders of being a male...
Just remember folks, never go to see a therapist who's never been to one themselves, as we can only go as deep and as far with another person as we've been willing to go with ourselves!
Here's hoping someone, somewhere gets something beneficial, even if some form of personal validation by reading this. Take Care! - Michael
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
As A Therapist & New Daddy
Hello! Speaking to you as a new first-time father, and as a licensed MFT (Marriage and Family Therapist), I am hoping that lessons being learned as a new dad, and interactions had with clients I see may be of some use to others out there who are either dads themselves, or having some curiosity about seeing from the other side of the couch.
A little about who I am: I have been in private practice as a therapist since 2003, and have been providing psychotherapy services for over ten years now. There is definitely something to be said about the wonders and magic that can occur in working with people through some of the roughest spots in their lives. The same can be said about watching something so delicate and tender begin to grow, develop, change before your eyes, and become more and more interactive, beautiful, and full of love and life.
I guess I could say I'm lucky enough to see clients grow and move forward in their lives, often beyond where they started when they first met me. I promise I'm never been one to give myself pats on the back, because my clients are the ones deserving of the praise for the hard work they do both in the room with me, and outside during the rest of their week. Most of the time I'm just honored to be a part of their journey. I will admit though, the work is a "dual process", and I often learn and grow along with my clients. Otherwise, I might be doing them a disservice by not being willing to grow and change.
More recently, though, I have been presented with the amazing and very humbling experience of becoming a first-time father to a beautiful baby girl. She actually just turned 5 months old! My wife is an amazing mother and beautiful partner, full of love, devotion, and care for our baby daughter, and I couldn't have been more lucky to have her in my life as my wife and the mother of our child.
In starting this, my hope is that there may be others out there, both mothers and fathers alike, who may be able to share insights, and that resources for those of us learning to be good parents and providers may be passed along the way.
In my own searches to become a better provider for my family, I have come across a few legitimate, and many shady online businesses. Where possible, I will do my best to pass along the best of what I find, and even warnings for other things not worth your time of day. Also, I encourage and welcome any postings from others who have additional advice and positive recommendations. Also, if I have found something to be of use thus far, as a new parent, I promise I will add it to the list of companies that I recommend.
The following is a test-run for an ad for earning a degree online:
http://www.jdoqocy.com/click-2983410-10492296
As a recommendation or two that I can assert here and now: I will state that an inexpensive life-saver for down-time with my wife and something I will hereby recommend that anyone who does not already have this should sign up for Netflix - CLICK HERE - ; along with something else that can often serve as a salvation for the marriage (by remembering the little things) by way of JustFlowers (http://www.dpbolvw.net/click-2983410-3885639); and finally, for the sake of having a great list of songs by various artists that comprise our baby's lullabies and playtime songs list, I recommend going to I-Tunes, - http://click.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/click?id=naItvMGzMeE&offerid=78524.10000011&type=3&subid=0-, as it can often be a great way to be selective about what your baby listens to and not needing to buy entire albums to get to the best for your child's (and your own) enjoyment.
So, here's a jump-off point. I'll be back to add soon enough.
Here's wishing you the best, and where possible, the lessons to help.
-Michael
A little about who I am: I have been in private practice as a therapist since 2003, and have been providing psychotherapy services for over ten years now. There is definitely something to be said about the wonders and magic that can occur in working with people through some of the roughest spots in their lives. The same can be said about watching something so delicate and tender begin to grow, develop, change before your eyes, and become more and more interactive, beautiful, and full of love and life.
I guess I could say I'm lucky enough to see clients grow and move forward in their lives, often beyond where they started when they first met me. I promise I'm never been one to give myself pats on the back, because my clients are the ones deserving of the praise for the hard work they do both in the room with me, and outside during the rest of their week. Most of the time I'm just honored to be a part of their journey. I will admit though, the work is a "dual process", and I often learn and grow along with my clients. Otherwise, I might be doing them a disservice by not being willing to grow and change.
More recently, though, I have been presented with the amazing and very humbling experience of becoming a first-time father to a beautiful baby girl. She actually just turned 5 months old! My wife is an amazing mother and beautiful partner, full of love, devotion, and care for our baby daughter, and I couldn't have been more lucky to have her in my life as my wife and the mother of our child.
In starting this, my hope is that there may be others out there, both mothers and fathers alike, who may be able to share insights, and that resources for those of us learning to be good parents and providers may be passed along the way.
In my own searches to become a better provider for my family, I have come across a few legitimate, and many shady online businesses. Where possible, I will do my best to pass along the best of what I find, and even warnings for other things not worth your time of day. Also, I encourage and welcome any postings from others who have additional advice and positive recommendations. Also, if I have found something to be of use thus far, as a new parent, I promise I will add it to the list of companies that I recommend.
The following is a test-run for an ad for earning a degree online:
http://www.jdoqocy.com/click-2983410-10492296
As a recommendation or two that I can assert here and now: I will state that an inexpensive life-saver for down-time with my wife and something I will hereby recommend that anyone who does not already have this should sign up for Netflix - CLICK HERE - ; along with something else that can often serve as a salvation for the marriage (by remembering the little things) by way of JustFlowers (http://www.dpbolvw.net/click-2983410-3885639); and finally, for the sake of having a great list of songs by various artists that comprise our baby's lullabies and playtime songs list, I recommend going to I-Tunes, - http://click.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/click?id=naItvMGzMeE&offerid=78524.10000011&type=3&subid=0-, as it can often be a great way to be selective about what your baby listens to and not needing to buy entire albums to get to the best for your child's (and your own) enjoyment.
So, here's a jump-off point. I'll be back to add soon enough.
Here's wishing you the best, and where possible, the lessons to help.
-Michael
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